The End of 'Me'

Do you ever feel like you're the last person that should be leading worship today? Ever feel like a failure with nothing to offer of value? Have you ever been just about to walk on stage to lead and had to pray something like "God you've GOT to help me here because I feel like I have absolutely nothing to give anyone."?

I have.

I've actually been having sort of an "I suck" type of week this past week... Dunno if you've ever had that. Thinking back, I'm not sure I can trace its start to any one thing even. No specific failure in this instance; maybe more of a "hope deferred" thing. (Pr 13:12) But the end-result-feeling is similar to other times when my failures and inadequacies have brought me to a low place that seemed like an unfavorable starting point to lead others in worship from. But I know enough now to know that that is not always the case. Sometimes it's when we've come to "the end of ourselves" that we're the most ready to truly lead God-centered worship in His way and in His strength.

See, on a 'good day' it can be so easy for us to waltz up on stage and confidently lean on our own strengths, talents, and know-how. We do what we know well, what's worked in the past and what gets the response we want. There is always this danger before us of leading purely out of reservoir, talent, and flesh. Danger is the operative word here if we're looking for more than the motions and show - for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. (Jm 4:6) We should not put too much stock in our abilities. (Ps 20:7) What has always worked will not always work. There is no formula to experiencing God's presence except humbly seeking Him with sincerity. So we do well not to assume too much when we seek to lead others to His throne room.

Sometimes I believe God allows us to unravel a bit for our own good and the good of those we lead. A set-back can be a set-up; and when we come to the end of ourselves and realize our own smallness we're ready to truly see His bigness. In our weakness we finally get a glimpse of how badly we've always needed Him; finally allow Him to be strong as we lean on Him; finally let Him truly call the shots and lead us; finally GET BACK TO BASICS. In that humble, honest place we find our King smiling and waiting for us - and so do those we bring along. 

God will do what He has to to get us all there.

When you're having one of those days, come to God in absolute humility, honesty and repentance and He simply takes you the way you are first and works on you after. If it's sin that has tripped  you up bring it to the cross and expose it to the light. No human is perfect this side of heaven - we are ALL in process. God has invited us then to boldly approach His throne of grace that we might find mercy in our time of need. (Heb 4:16) We love Him because He loved us first and the one who has been forgiven much loves much! (Lk 7:47) Harness that gratefulness and express your love to God in your leading. It will be contagious! When you're feeling low -for whatever reason- run to Him not from Him; and bring the ones He's entrusted you with leading along!